Reese Witherspoon called! - Day 12

It started so well. Another sunny day.

After coffee I went out for my 'thinking' walk and on the way fast-forwarded in my mind that Spun Into Gold is not only showcased by Reese Witherspoon's bookclub Hello Sunshine but optioned for a film.

If the Hello Sunshine book club profiles your book, it's guaranteed to be read far and wide. Reese, apart from being a talented actress, has created a production company that makes films with strong female protagonists. Reese is a superhero of mine.

As I walked, I imagined the call, "Reese would like to talk to you!" .

I did a little happy dance in the middle of a quiet country lane until a huge blue tractor came along so I stopped.

When I was performing at the Magic Castle last year, I sent a copy of my book to Reese. I wrapped it up with so much love and sent it off.

In my imagination, somehow she finds and reads the book and loves it.

In my imagination she makes it into an amazing film or Netflix series which raises awareness of eating disorders and encourages a whole generation to treat themselves more kindly.

In my imagination, this film reminds the world of magic and possibilities and help that surrounds us.

In my imagination, I go to the premier in my red gown costume or an amazing magenta dress and I take my soon to be real puppy.

In my imagination I tell everyone to keep going in the direction of their dreams because magic is real.

Once the tractor has passed, I noticed an artillery butterfly keeping me company. It flew ahead, stopped on some blackberry bushes in the hedge for me to join it and flew ahead again. After about ten minutes of this, I started to imagine that it was a sign that my wish would be granted and to have faith.

I took a little video for my Instagam https://www.instagram.com/magicromany/?hl=en if you'd like to see it.

I'm a member of a few Facebook groups for motivation and support. One group is Re-invent with Intent with the excellent coach Nancy Levin (pic). Nancy admits to being a 'woo-woo' as anyone but also teaches that you have to not only make a wish or set an intention but take action steps to start and drive momentum.

My action step today was to find the script of my keynote speech and the film of me doing it in Fiji. Somehow it had got lost and I'd put my head in the sand about finding it.

I found both on my old laptop and watched the film. It made me cry.

It made me cry because although I am very healthy now, in my keynote, I tell the audience about my three decade battle with bulimia and it's hard to hear, even for me.

Wondering what I should do now that I had taken these first steps, I wrote to a friend asking for some feedback on my film. I was surprised to get his reply that he was happy to edit it into a promo reel if I could make a file with all the photos from the talk too.

Fantastic!

But the sun was shining, the beach was calling and I'd already spent four hours working online. Gritting my teeth, I promised myself that I could take a walk only after I'd found all the photos from Fiji.

I couldn't find them. Not on my new laptop, not on my old, not in any cloud. Grrrrr.

Then, before I knew it, I had thrown a packet of chocolate Hobnobs down my throat. I don't even like or eat Hobnobs, they were for Walkabout.

Maybe it was the result of getting upset earlier, maybe the frustration of not finding the photos, whatever it was, had flipped me over my boundary of well-being

Shutting my laptop, I took myself out for a walk to the beach.

It's good to find your limits and step back from them.

I know that when I've gone to that place of self-abuse, the only thing to do is to be super kind to yourself.

Rest, read a book, take a nap.

I thought, I'll just write today's blog then that's it for today.